2026-08-30
I'm losing sight of the big picture. It's been hard over the past few weeks to motivate myself to take learning, blogging, and gardening seriously. As soon as I learned that the immediate danger had passed, the motivation was gone, and discipline has never had a very strong hold over me.
This effect is more pronounced by not having alternative neccessary activities. What did I end up doing today? I got groceries. I took a nap. I ate way too much. I watched some anime. I am too comfortable in my current life.
It's unfair that I live this life, when others around the world are struggling. There's such a huge imbalance. We hoard wealth and somehow define our work as more important than others'. I feel powerless to fix the system or make any difference, and I feel like I must keep playing the same game, holding on to what I have for as long as I can for fear of the uncertainty of the future.
I wish that we could collectively decide to use our resources now to distribute the wealth. Action today to make the world more welcoming to everyone will make us the most resilient for the future.
For now, all I know to do is to keep trying to get my motivation and discipline back.